Hey guys, thanks for dropping by!
So all you know about me is that I have bulimia. There is a lot more to tell!
I had a diagnosable eating disorder from the age of 11. My E.D (eating disorder) has taken many forms over the years; bulimarexia, ednos, binge eating disorder and bulimia, with a couple of times you might call 'normal', thrown in there to! My ED has had a massive impact on my weight and has seen me go from 126lbs to 296lbs over the years, so I really have used my scales to their full potential and accessed all those evil numbers!!
For the last three years I have struggled badly with bulimia. Starving and then binging and purging my way through most of my days. Constantly battling with my mind about what is right, what is allowed, what I want and what I need to do. Bulimia mostly winning the arguments.
A year and a half ago I decided I could not live like this anymore. At almost 25 at the time I had tried to keep this thing quiet and deal with it alone for 14 years (barring a short time of counselling I had through school once teachers got a bit worried about my ghostly face and my frequent fainting). I did not want to look into a future where I saw only this for the rest of my days- putting everything else on hold. I went to my G.P and started the long process of waiting for appointments, several evaluations, more waiting, several referrals, more waiting and now I have finally been offered treatment which I start in two weeks time.
I'm going to blog my daily events. Right up to hopefully being on the other side of this! My hope is that my journey can help pull someone else through or just know that they aren't alone. Recovery is out there for all of us. I found the map when I went to my G.P. It took a long time but now I've found the road. Now I have to do the hard bit and actually walk along it. It's going to be hard and I'm sure I'll take a few wrong turns and git stuck, arse up in a ditch a couple of times, but I will get to where I'm going! I'm going to get my hope back. Take back my crown. Sew back on my butterly wings and fly to recovery and freedom!
Who's coming with me?
well great I just typed up a whole big comment and it deleted the whole thing.
ReplyDeleteAs I was saying.
I'm so glad you're blogging now! I really liked the passage in your previous post. It's awful how EDs steal our childhood innocence and "butterfly wings." ;) I'm praying for you on your journey to get them back :)
Are you still going to do youtube videos? And also, do you know how I can subscribe by email to this? I haven't figured it out with blogspot but I'll put you on my blogroll :)
<3 Jamie